Uryuu's Caprice
by Araneidan
Summary: Uryuu gets upset about how phlegmatic Ichigo is when it comes to Uryuu ordering him around. He decides to give him a lesson he will never forget! Or maybe he is just bored... No Lemon, nor BL detected here!


Hello there! It's been a while!

Here is a fic about Ichigo and Uryuu. It was my first and last time to write first in Finnish and then translate it into English… Not going to do that ever again! It was really hard and difficult. And I think the story suffered a lot from that.  
And this was done by asking my friend for ideas (I asked her to tell me a pairing or a couple of people to write about and to give me a key word). So this was just to boost my imagination.

You can think there is something romantic between Ichigo and Uryuu. Or not. It's up to you. My friend isn't a slash/yaoi fangirl so I didn't make this into one of those stories.

Summary: Uryuu gets upset about how phlegmatic Ichigo is when it comes to Uryuu ordering him around. He decides to give him a lesson he will never forget!

* * *

Ichigo stepped into Uryuu's apartment. "It's frigging clean as always. Just like a hospital!"

Uryuu lifted his classes. "Then, do you happen to be in a need of a medical treatment?"

"Eh… No. Forget I said anything."

"Don't be so slow, Ichigo! I am hungry."

Ichigo sighed and left his shoes neatly in the shoe stand. He had some Chinese food with him. Because Uryuu had asked (read: demanded) him to bring some. Because, though anyone would ever believe, Uryuu had this habit of getting huge obsessions of things. This time it was Chinese food. And Ichigo had his mouth and ears full of country-in-guestion's food they sold in local shops. But Uryuu wanted both of them to eat same food and he could not give up when he decided on something. Never.

They sat down on table next to Uryuu's bed and ate in silence until Uryuu but his chopsticks down sighing heavily.

"I'm getting sick of this!"

"Of what! Chinese food?" Ichigo asked hope in his voice.

"That too. And also to that you are an idiot and haven't argued back for a whole week, when I have made you eat the same Chinese foods as I."

"Huh? But I…"

"And! I haven't wanted to eat this rubbish for at least three days now", Uryuu talked over Ichigo and lifted his classes again. "I did it all just to test you. And I came into resolution that you are an imbecile."

"Uryuu! You…!"

"Ichigo. You don't have a will of your own!"

Ichigo gave up. There was no use to argue with an idiot like that. Wait… After being toyed like that he had no right to call anyone idiot.

"Yes, I am…" Ichigo massaged bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. Headache was coming on its way.

"You should stop it! I can't decide everything for you! I'll give you a lesson that you won't forget!"

"Ye.. What… Huh?"

"Do you have a speech defect?"

"No!"

Uryuu made a noise, left the table and walked into the bathroom. When he came back he got a tiny, silver object in his hand.

Resolute young man cleaned the table very quickly and moved it next to the wall so it wasn't in his way. Other sitting pillow was but in front of the confused carrot head and Uryuu sat down on it.

"Close your eyes", Uryuu said demanding.

Ichigo lifted his eyebrows surprised. "Why?"

"Your lesson is about to start." Glasses were lifted again.

Ichigo scratched his neck and sighed defeated. "Alright, alright. If you say so."

Ichigo closed his eyes and tried to listen if he could get any clues for what Uryuu had on his mind. For a second everything was completely quiet and then Uryuu slid his hands into Ichigo's forelock, moved from there leaving already messy hair standing. Ichigo thought he was going to enjoy this lesson very much. Especially when still moving hands stopped on Ichigo's temples for a while. Other hand was placed little uncomfortable close to his eye and other was lifted to forehead. And then Ichigo felt stinging pain.

"Ouch! What are you doing?" Ichigo jerked himself from Uryuu's grip and slammed his hand on to suffering corner of the eye. He looked bewildered at annoyed Uryuu, who sat still in front of him.

"I'm giving you a lesson. Obviously."

"With… tweezers? You are picking my eyebrows?"

"Exactly", other answered calmly. "You took your time to realize. Well, let me continue now."

"No, I won't let you!"

"Ichigo. Your obeying everything I say without a failure is really annoying. It wouldn't have taken long and I'd have been able to do anything to you without mentioning about it to you first. I just jumped straight to there. Take this as a warning. Now, take your hand away from my way and let me continue."

"No need to continue! I understood already what you are trying to tell me." Ichigo started to felt scared of Uryuu's determination.

"Maybe, but you have to_ remember _this lesson more than next ten seconds."

He poked his classes higher again, lifted his hands and nipped away a new hair. Ichigo knew, between all that pain, stinging and suffering that his manliness was gone. Sitting down, able to do nothing about his situation he was thinking choices he had. Moving away, surgery, drawing eyebrows, cosmetology, suicide… If he moved away, he should do it after his eyebrows were grown back. He didn't want to get strange boys reputation straight away in his new living environment. And he would quit his studies for the rest of the school year. There was no way to get him to step out of his room, if he could somehow first get into there!

Once in a while dark haired quincy stopped and every time Ichigo thought that it was over and he was free to go, but always he noticed that to his torturer it was only a moment of planning. Ichigo would get something very well planned and something, more likely, mathematically beautiful, if he knew Uryuu at all.

Ichigo tried to comfort himself thinking that at least the other boy would make very good job with his eyebrows. But that didn't make him feel better at all or decrease the growing panic in his chest.

He would lose his manly, messy eyebrows!

Before this moment he didn't realize how much he liked his eyebrows, how he had protected their richness and masculine malformation. Now he was sure that until this day he had grown them with respect and love treasuring every single hair between his eyes and forehead. And now all that work was lost! His (nonexisting) work, fabulous eyebrows were gone, by this devilish, young and most of all (luckily) last quincy! Finally Ichigo woke up to the realization that quincys and shinigamis were archenemies. Never friends, always archenemies! He should talk more about this topic with his father. His family practically lived in their enemy's neighborhood, at the mercy of them. This couldn't continue anymore!

"It's ready, Ichigo."

Ichigo opened his tightly closed eyes and the sudden increase of light made him blink. He lifted his fingers to his eyebrows, wiped and brought them in front of his eyes. No blood.

"What you thought you would find? Blood or wax?"

"M-maybe both…" To Ichigo, the word "wax" sounded really scary and suspicious. He absolutely didn't want to know what wax had to do with eyebrows.

Uryuu sighed and took mirror, bigger than his palm, into his hand. "Look, what you did to yourself."

What have I done to myself? Ichigo thought unhappily and took the mirror.

There, right above his eyes, his fluffy eyebrows were gone and now instead there was pair of nice, narrow, softly angular, neater than neatest eyebrows that were like straight from women's magazine ads. From those ads with really big woman's head or face… And the subject normally was some kind of new mascara or foundation cream.

"Do you want me to do this again some other time?"

"No", Ichigo sighed in agony. His eyebrows looked… feminine. "I resemble some kind of transvestite-wannabe."

"Mmh."

Uryuu stood up and walked into kitchen. "I am going to order some Indian food and while waiting I'll take a picture of you as_ memento_ and _you _will be the one opening the door when the food arrives."

Ichigo now knew that getting to know Uryuu was a big mistake he'd pay with his life. If that fact was ever unclear, it wasn't anymore.

"I- I think I'm going to stay the night here." Ichigo would not walk back home this evening.

"Just like that? Fine! Just this once", Uryuu answered annoyed.

"And I am not going to school tomorrow…"

"That is not an option!" Uryuu turned his back to hide his devilish smile.

When Ichigo opened his mouth to compline the doorbell rang.

"Food is here. Go get it."

"Yes, Uryuu…" Ichigo got up and walked to door his back hunched.

* * *

A/N: Yeah! In Karakura town food arrives FAST. At least if we believe what i just wrote here.

Don't think about it too much! Just enjoy the humiliation Ichigo is going to feel when he opens the door! :D


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